A Year in Reflection

It's October once again, which means I turn a year older by the end of the month. I hate that I'm a year older. Time seems to be going by so fast these days that I have hardly any time to catch my breath. I'm not ready to be a year older but I guess as they say, "Time waits for no man." So, how about waiting for a woman? Hahaha. I crack myself up.

Anyway, to briefly summarize how my year has been since my last birthday, it's been so-so (to say the least). The highlights would be my trip to the Philippines with my then-boyfriend, AK. I haven't been back home in about a decade so it was nice to share that experience with him. Other highlights include my trip to San Francisco with AK, my friend KRMN graduating from law school, witnessing my friend Junee giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, meeting my new friend JJ, moving to our new offices in Century City, planning my mom's 50th birthday and buying my first pair of Louboutins (which I still haven't worn). The lows of the year would have to include my breakup with AK, downsizing at my firm which led to some pretty heated debates, my breakup with AK, and my breakup with AK.

In retrospect, it's been a good year. I have a job that pays the bills, my family's healthy, I'm healthy and I have new friends and new shoes. The problem is that I'm human and I tend to dwell on the pain rather than the count my blessings. I'm trying to change that but it's an uphill climb. Every day I tell myself that I'm lucky - lucky to be alive and to have family and friends that love me. It doesn't sink in all the time because there's always that part of my brain that says, "Well, what about those who broke your heart? How about those who hurt you?" What about them? I shouldn't even be thinking about them anymore. It's their loss. If they don't want me to be a part of their life, it's their loss.

My wish for myself for the year to come is this: to find happiness and satisfaction in every aspect of my life. That's a tough wish but I'm not asking for perfection, just satisfaction. I guess for me, happiness is being content and satisfied with what you have and that's what I'm aiming for. It's tough because I know I'm always looking for the next bigger and better thing. I guess that's what I have to work on. I need to appreciate what's going on in my life now rather than focus on what's next. Huh, an epiphany at the end of this entry. Cool.