Thursday, November 02, 2006


Date:1-yr. anniversary of car accident
Location: At work
State of Mind: Bored

I just want to post a pic of my puppy and introduce him to the world. Everyone, meet 4-Deuce or Doozy. He's turning 2 this November. I rescued him from the pound on 9/28/06. This pic is before he got his haircut. I'll post another one of him when I get a chance.

Thursday, September 21, 2006


I tag everyone!

This is simple. Just:
1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you've tagged KNOW that they've been tagged, for Pete's sake.

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short. (I think so.)
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive.
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to men.
I like British accents. (Although sometimes, I have a hard time understanding them.)
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm happy with my Faith.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favorite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages.
I enjoy taking pictures.
(But I have a tendency to always forget my camera.)
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.

I have a regular income.
I earned money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidiness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste.
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry. (But that doesn’t mean they want to marry me, LOL.)
I'm interesting. (To say the least.)
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me.
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish. (I enjoy shopping for shoes but I don't have a shoe fetish.)
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is... and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.

Thanks a lot Inez.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

More of "Ode to *W*"

Somehow the poem that was forwarded to me generated more "poetic creativity" (if you can call it that) from other disgruntled employees of the said company.

Ode No. 2
And what’s with Ramin’s rage
Is the contractor not on the same page?
And why is Steve so afraid of showing his age?

These are more things in the CWP pace.
Oh yeah, I know where Nate’s at
He’s at myspace.

Ode No. 3
these are some things
i think about
at cwp…

why is it that
when Ramin is late
he doesn’t get reprimanded
same also with Nate

why is it that
Sassan has no balls
He never talks back to Steve
I don’t get it at all

why is that
Naghdi is so messy
He always leaves his clutter around
Oh, what a doozy!

And why, oh why
haven’t I gotten my raise
Neither has Aidin,
Oh, what a disgrace!
This may not be as funny to everyone else but for those who work at said company, it's freakin' hilarious! Maybe one of these days a poetry anthology will be released and the subject of this book will be, I don't, frustration at the job, etc. and these poems will be published then. That'll be awesome. *Sigh* 'Til then...

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Ode to *W*

This poem below was written by one of the above's company disgruntled employees and was forwarded to me by one of my friends. Actually, it could've been written by any of the company's disgruntled employees and since it's really funny, I decided to share it with the rest of the world. I hope this doesn't get anyone in trouble. I have 'changed' the company name to protect the identity of the employee.

Ode to *W*

what happened to nate
why is ramin always late
and will we ever actually build
some real

these are some things
i think about
at cwp…

like how many times a day
does sassan pee
what is it with half empty containers
and naghdi
and why does steve NEVER have a bathroom key

is it just me
or is navid’s political views kind of creepy
is today an awesome or not awesome day
for Debbie

what more can i say!

is it pay-day
will we ever get a raise

ugh! is this really my fate
and really though, where the hell is Nate!

Monday, August 28, 2006


I haven't updated my blog for quite a while, so I decided to update the people out there on what's going on with my life. Not a lot of exciting boyfriend moved to a loft in downtown, bought my cousin's book, Sanctuary (her blog here), worked on my business plan, and worked on my culinary skills (I'm getting better!). Not much happened in my life, same stuff only on different days.

I'll be posting pictures of my New York trip soon, so watch out for that. I haven't had the time (or the motivation) to get to it. I'm a procrastinator, I always have been. I'm not proud of it, I just acknowledge it. I don't even know why I do it. Sooner or later I still get around to doing it (whatever it is I that I decided to do later rather than now) so I don't know why I even bother to procrastinate. It certainly serves no purpose. Who knows?

Anyway, I'll be starting school again tomorrow. Yes, big surprise. I got my degree in Economics from USC in 2003 and I'm back in school to punish myself with some more schoolwork and some more procrastination. Well, at least it's something to pull me away from the couch. To all of you who don't know me, I'm also a couch potato. A procrastinator and a couch potato...hah! It's a damn miracle I'm not fat but don't let me get into that. I have a slight obsession with my weight. Don't worry, I'm not anorexic or bulimic but I am very diligent about watching my weight. I haven't had pizza in about a year, and boy do I miss it! Almost as much as I miss the gym. I haven't been to the gym since my car accident. That's one of the reasons that I have to watch my weight, I can't do any strenuous exercise that might aggravate or impede the growth of the bone on my forearm. Almost a year, and it still hasn't grown back completely. But I won't get into that either. Talk about going off on tangents. My AP English teacher in high school told me that I write in a stream of consciousness...almost like James Joyce. Only the stream of consciousness part. Anyway...

Friday, August 11, 2006

My Arm (Part Deux)

I found some pictures of my arm as I was rifling through the pictures on my cellphone. These pics are kind gross.


The staples were just removed by my doctor. The wounds look so fresh. Euw. He was trying to distract me by talking to me about the beach while he picked them off. I was screaming so much...I hope I didn't scare his other patients. This pic was taken with my camera phone because I'm such a doofus that I forgot my camera at home. Imagine how this would look if it was a higher quality picture. Double euw.

This pic is of the other side of my arm. this one's even more disgusting because of the burn marks. Burn marks you ask? Apparently, I'm allergic to surgical tape. This part of my arm had the staples taken off earlier* and the stitches were held by surgical tape so it won't open. When the doctor removed the bandages, I thought the scabs were dried blood but they were actually burnt skin. Say it with me...EUW!

*I had two separate surgeries for my arm. After the first surgery (where they installed the metal plates), my arm was so swollen that they couldn't close it off. I went back a week after to first surgery to have my arm closed up and for a bone graft (there was a gap in my bone since it apparently shattered and some pieces were too tiny to be put back together). Before I had my second surgery, the doctor removed the staples. Since the wound was pretty fresh, he taped up my arm with surgical tape so the wound won't reopen.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

New York, New York

I'm leaving for New York in a few hours and I'm so excited! I've never been there and I can't wait to! I think of New York as one big mall. I hope I won't get disappointed. I hope I don't forget anything as I packed really late last night. I'll only be there for a few days for my mom's reunion and birthday but I hope I enjoy it anyway. The weather is not the best, 90 degrees with 60% chance of rain and 80% humidity, but I hope I'll survive. I'm sure anything is better than the heatwave we're currently experiencing here in CA. Well, before I start blabbing away I'll cut myself short. I'm praying for a safe and fun trip. I'll post pictures as soon as I get back. ciao for now!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Me, a Joke Writer? No...

Let me start this post with a disclaimer: this is something I got from my cousin Inez's blog and I want her (and everone else to know) that this and the previous blog was "inspired" by the same post on her site. The "Get To Know Me" post is very similar to one of her posts which is very weird because I posted it probably a few hours after she posted hers. Very weird, I guess we're on the same wavelength. Cousins indeed. Anyhow, for the post.

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Get to know me more

Another random get-to-know-me survey I found on the web. Enjoy.

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now.
× I don't watch much TV these days.
I own lots of books.

× I wear glasses or contact lenses.
× I love to play video games.
× I've tried marijuana.

I've watched porn movies.
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.

I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

× I have broken someone's bones.
× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.

I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need/want money right now. (ALWAYS!)

I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
× I have fresh breath in the morning.

I have long hair.
× I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.

I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.

× I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I am usually pessimistic.

I have a lot of mood swings.
× I think prostitution should be legalized.
I slept with a roommate. (slept in the same bed but did not have sex kind of sleep...that would be weird since she's a girl & i'm not a lesbian or bisexual)

I have a hidden talent.
× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
× I have a lot of friends.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.
× I enjoy talking on the phone.
× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

I love to shop and/or window shop.
× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.

I have a mobile phone.
× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.

I currently like/love someone.
× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.

× I have changed a diaper before.
× I've called the cops on a friend before.
× I'm not allergic to anything.

I have a lot to learn.
× I am shy around the opposite sex.
× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.

× I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (alcohol, yes. drugs, never.)
× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.

× I own the "South Park" movie.
× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
× I enjoy some country music.

I would die for my best friends.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
× I have dated a close friend's ex.
× I am happy at this moment.

× I'm obsessed with guys.
× Republican.

× I don't even know what I am.
I am punk rockish.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.

× I study for tests most of the time.
× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
× I can work on a car.

× I love my job(s).
× I am comfortable with who I am right now.
× I have more than just my ears pierced.

× I walk barefoot wherever I can.
× I have jumped off a bridge.
× I love sea turtles.

× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
× I am proficient on a musical instrument.

× I hate office jobs.
× I went to college out of state.
× I am adopted.

× I am a pyro.
× I have thrown up from crying too much.
× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.

× I fall for the worst people.
× I adore bright colours.
× I usually like covers better than originals.

× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.

I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I talk in my sleep. (so i've been told)

× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
× I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
× I wear a toe ring.

× I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.

× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.

× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
× I'm an artist.
× I am ambidextrous.

× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.
× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.
I have terrible teeth.

× I hate my toes.
I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.
× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.

× I have lived in either three different states or countries.
× I am extremely flexible.
× I love hugs more than kisses.

I want to own my own business.
× I smoke.
× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.

× Nobody has ever said I'm normal.
Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.
× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.

× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.

× I have played strip poker with someone else before.
× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.
I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.

× I can't stand being alone.
× I have at least one obsession at any given time.
× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.

× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
× I'm a judgmental asshole.
× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.

I have travelled on more than one continent.
× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.

× I am a Libertarian. (not me, but my boyfriend is!)
I can speak more than one language.
× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.

× I would rather read than watch TV.
× I like reading fact more than fiction.
I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.

× I have no piercings.
× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.

× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.
There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.
× I like most animals better than most people.

× I own a collection of retro games consoles.
× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.
× I have hit someone with a dead fish.

I am compulsively honest.
× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.
× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.

× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.
× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.

× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
× I dislike milk.
× I obsessively wash my hands.

× I always carry something significant around with me.
× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.

× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.

× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.
× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.
× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.

I do not 'get' most comedy acts. (coz sometimes they're just not funny!)
I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.
× I don't like to chew gum.

× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.
× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.

× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.
× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
I love to sing. (but unfortunately, i'm not that good)

× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.
I have a custom-built computer.
× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.

× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.
× I've gone skinny-dipping.
× I've performed in three plays.

× I enjoy burritos.
× I'm Irish and loving it.
× I have a thing for redheads.

× I am a twin!
× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.
× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.

× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.
× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.
I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.

× I need more time to myself.
× I wish I was more open-minded.
× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.

I download songs from the internet.
× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.
I say random things to freak people out.

× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.
× I love playing Truth or Dare.
× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.

× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.
Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.
× I think this survey is particularly long.

× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.
× I can only hate someone that I love.
× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Getting to Know Me

I found this silly questionnaire online during one of my lazy days at work. This will be my tribute to one of my favorite movies of all time…The King and I. You know, the part where they sang ‘Getting to Know You’. Anyway, here goes…

One bedroom second-floor apartment

Visitor’s Guide to New York City

My mouse. =)

Monopoly, introduces kids to the basics of capitalism. I’m not sure if that’s necessarily a good thing.

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?In Style and Lucky

Smells in general – coffee & food cooking on the stove or oven or grill. Perfrumes – Marc Jacobs & Issey Miyake

Rotten eggs, garbage, anything rotten


8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?Being cheated (in more than one context) -> makes me feel stupid

“what time is it?”

Lilac or lavender

Depends who is calling. Sometimes I don't answer it at all. Caller id rocks.

12. FUTURE Child's NAME?
Girl: Cassidy Nicole or Lorelai Cassidy
Boy: Alexander Nicolo or Marcus Alexander

Family & friends

Japanese Food (not just sushi) and Spanish Tapas and good, bloody steak

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?If these were the only two choices, then chocolate, I guess.

Yes, but ever since my accident (that broke, nay shattered both bones in my left forearm) I’ve been driving really carefully (which means slower than I used to).

No, they make me sneeze.


1997 Toyota Corolla

Angelina Jolie – she’s hot.

Mango margarita and mango mojito

Scorpio baby, yeah.


Buyer for a cool boutique that I also own.

same color I always dye it…mahogany

Yes, unfortunately.

depends on the situation

28. FAVORITE MOVIES: The King and I, Braveheart, Dumb & Dumber, My Cousin Vinny


Stor-it-all with a bunch of papers


32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Trojan football. Go Trojans!

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. student
2. retail
3. financial analyst
4. real estate office manager

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. The King and I
2. My Cousin Vinny
3. Love Actually
4. Jerry Maguire

Four places you have lived: (most recent)
1. palms/cheviot hills area
2. west hollywood
3. silverlake
4. malibu

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. amazing race
2 top model
3. project runway
4. grey’s anatomy

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. orlando
2. las vegas
3. boracay, philippines
4. Cagayan de oro, philippines

Four websites I visit daily:
1. MSN
2. Yahoo
3. Perfect Pet Rescue
4. Google

Four of my favorite foods:
1. japanese
2. thai
3. tapas
4. steak

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Greece
2. Italy Tuscany region
3. South Africa
4. Bahamas

Four things I always carry with me:
1. cell phone
2. purse
3. keys
4. debit card

I guess the above questionnaire doesn't really tell people much about me except what I like and don't like. Getting to know someone is an adventure that takes time and patience. It is not something that can be summarized with a few questions.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Italy, give it to the French!

I may not be an expert on soccer (or football, whatever you want to call it) but I did follow this year's World Cup. I may not be a fan of the French team but I do believe that they were cheated of the title as the World Cup champions. Yes, Italy won with a penalty kick but I don't think that's enough. They had to resort to 'cheating' to win. Materazzi knew that Zidane is an emotional player. Materazzi knew that if Zidane had stayed in the game Italy had no chance of winning. The Italians had been slacking since the start of the second half. They looked tired. They played tired. They needed to do something to defeat the French and they resorted to unsportsmanlike behavior.

Yes, what Zidane did was just as bad. He is after all the captain and he should have acted like one (but then again one can argue that George W. Bush is President of the US and he surely doesn't act like it either). We will never truly know what Materazzi told him to provoke such behavior but if the rumors are true, then Italy should give up the Cup. Materazzi should just stop making excuses. He should stop playing like the victim (saying he's not cultured enough to know what an "Islamic terrorist" is, when that clearly has nothing to do with culture). He should just 'fess up that he cheated and now he's lying about it. But he never will. His reputation is at stake and he has to lie to defend his honor, his reputation, his World Cup victory.

For more on the history of Materazzi and racism in the World Cup, please refer to and article written by Dave Zirin (as it appeared on

Why Today I Wear My Zidane Jersey

Imagine Michael Jordan in his last game, with the score tied in overtime, knocking out his defender with a punch to the throat. Imagine Derek Jeter in game seven of the World Series, at bat with the bases loaded, thrashing the opposing team's catcher over the head with his bat. Our collective shock would only be exceeded by disappointment. No one, fan or foe, would want to a see a great player end their career in an act that speaks to the worst impulses of sports: when hard competition spills over into violence.

Now imagine if Jordan and Jeter claimed they were provoked with a racial slur. Does their violence become understandable? Even excusable? Herein lies the case of French National team captain, the great Zinedine Zidane.

Zidane, competing in his last professional match, was kicked out of the World Cup final in overtime for flattening Italian player Marco Materazzi with the head-butt heard around the world.

Zidane, or Zissou as he is known, became the first captain ever ejected from a World Cup championship match. The announcers denounced Zissou for committing a "classless act and the French team withered, eventually losing to a demonstrably inferior Italian squad in overtime. The following morning the international tabloids with their typical grace, gave Zissou a new nickname: "butt-head."

Less examined was the fact that Zissou was literally carrying a lightly regarded French team to the finals. Less examined was the fact that Zissou had been grabbed, kicked, and fouled all game by the vaunted Italian defense. Less examined was the fact that Zissou had almost left minutes earlier due to injury, his arm wilting off his shoulder like a wet leaf of spinach. This unholy amount of pressure is the primary reason the 34-year-old veteran snapped and planted Materazzi into the pitch.

Now the great mystery is what set Zissou off. What could Materazzi have possibly said to send him over the edge? Answers are beginning to filter out.

According to a FIFA employee transcribing what was said during the match, Materazzi's called Zissou a "big Algerian shit."

A Brazilian television program that claims to have used a lip-reader said Materazzi called Zissou's sister "a whore." The highly respected French anti-racist coalition SOS Racisme issued a press release stating, "According to several very well informed sources from the world of football, it would seem [Materazzi] called Zissou a 'dirty terrorist'."

Materazzi, in an answer that can only be called Clintonian, said, "It is absolutely not true. I didn't call him a terrorist." Of course he didn't comment on what he did call him. Zissou himself has only said cryptically that he would reveal what Materazzi said "in the coming days."

Right now, we do not know beyond a shadow of a doubt what was said but all the circumstantial evidence points at least toward a variant of SOS Racisme's claim.

Zissou is the son of Algerian immigrants who has sparred verbally with Europe's far-right political machine for more than a decade. He is an outspoken anti-racist on a team that has defined itself by its multiculturalism and stubborn insistence to stand up against bigotry both inside and outside the sport.

Materazzi on the other hand, will be playing this year for the Italian team Lazio, where his father was the former coach. Lazio's fan club, The Ultras, are notorious for their Fascist-friendly politics. Lazio's hardcore Ultras, known as the "Irriducibili," have members in Italy's extra-parliamentary far right and try to use the club to recruit. The group has frequently uses racist and anti-Semitic banners, one time hanging a 50-foot banner that said their opponents were a "team of niggers."

It's wrong to taint Materazzi for the actions of Lazio's fans, but there is more. Earlier this season in a match that pitted Messina against Inter in Sicily, Messina's star African player Marc Zoro famously picked up the ball and walked off the pitch in protest of the monkey chants rained upon him by Inter supporters.

In a stirring act of solidarity, many of the Inter players immediately showed support for Zoro's actions. But one opponent yelled, "Stop that, Zoro, you're just trying to make a name for yourself." That opponent's name was Marco Materazzi.

At the start of this tournament I wrote a soccer column with my colleague John Cox, called Racism Stalks the Cup. We expressed our concern that the monkey chants, banana peels, and peanuts raining down on African players this year would continue on the sport's grandest stage. This largely did not occur.

But then in the final act, at the moment of most exquisite tension, it seems racism may have actually emerged from the shadows. I, for one, am damn glad that when it did, it ran smack into Zissou's beautiful head.

We don't know with iron certainty what Materazzi said, but if it turns out to be more of the anti-Black, anti-Muslim, garbage that has infected soccer like a virus, the Italian team should forfeit the cup. They should voluntarily give the greatest trophy of them all back to FIFA as a statement that some things in this world are more important than sports.

Racism will be the death of soccer if things don't change. Italy can set the sport back on course, with one simple, stunning gesture.

Give the damn thing back.

Dave Zirin is the author of "What's My name Fool?": Sports and Resistance in the United States (Haymarket Books). You can receive his column Edge of Sports, every week by e-mailing Contact him at

Friday, June 30, 2006

My Arm...8 months later

(inner side of my arm...sorry, i don't know the technical terms)

This is my a picture of my arm, 2 surgeries and eight months later. This July 2nd will mark the 8th month since the car accident that shattered both bones in my forearm. I'm quite fortunate to be alive, though not so fortunate for my 6-month old car which didn't survive. Although almost a year has passed, November 2nd still remains a very vivid memory.

I was on my way to work. I left the house at 8:12am. There was an anti-war protest in Westwood that day. I remember contemplating whether I should miss work to go to the protest with Arash. He had been convincing me to go for the past two days and I still hadn't made up my mind. I was going to decide on my way to work. Alas, fate had decided for me. Driving west on Palms Blvd. on a Wednesday morning, I was surprised that traffic was light. There were no other cars and it seemed that I had consecutive green lights since I left the house. As I was approaching Motor Ave., one of the cars turned left in front of me. I started to slow down to accommodate the car and the car behind it started to turn as well. He hesitated at first because he saw me coming and then on the last second he turned. By this time, I was already about 5 feet away from the crosswalk. Then, to my disbelief, a third car started to turn...into my car! I instinctively tried to honk but it was too late so I swerved to the left. The right side of my car crashed into the right side of his vehicle, a Ford Bronco. I felt the airbag hit my face; the wind was knocked out of me. Then...I felt the throbbing and burning sensation of my left forearm as it hang limply on my lap. I started to scream! I was hysterical but I couldn't move, my arm felt so heavy on my lap. I started panicking. People started running from the sidewalk. Two guys tried to calm me down. They turned off the engine and told me that the ambulance was on its way. I was hyperventilating. I knew I had broken my arm. I saw it starting to swell up, it was turning red. I panicked some more. Finally, I heard the distant sound of police sirens, then the fire trucks, and at long last, the ambulance. I started to calm down, help is on the way.

The firefighters got to me first. They thought I had broken my wrist. When he lifted my arm to survey the damage, he had this look on his face that told me it was way worse than what he originally thought. He asked for a splint to stabilize the arm. They started looking around for a piece of cardboard big enough to support my arm. After stabilizing my arm, the firefighters put me in the ambulance and I remembered telling him that my car was only six months old and he told me, "Your insurance will take care of it, don't worry."

We finally got to the hospital and I was immediately sent to the ER. I thought it was a bit dramatic for a broken arm. Don't they just put cement on it and call it a day? Apparently not. I was in a lot of pain so the nurse injected me with painkillers. Then the cops came to take my statement. Great timing, I had just been drugged now I'm supposed to tell them what happened. They didn't have that many questions though. They just asked a few questions and gave me some information about the location of the junkyard that had my car. Yes, my car was towed to a junkyard. Oh, they brought me my purse and cellphone too. Yippee! After the 'questioning' was over, my phone rang. It was the office. By now it's 9:30 and they're wondering where the hell I am. I told them I just had a car accident and was at the ER. What hospital? I had to ask the nurse. Brotman Medical Center. After the phone call I fell asleep. I don't know how long I was out but when I woke up I saw Arash. I almost cried at the sight of him. Finally, a familiar face. He looked so worried that the ER staff permitted him to stay by my side. He asked if I had called my mom. I haven't had the chance. The painkillers knocked me out and besides I didn't know what to say. He urged me to let her know. I called her office and they transferred me to her extension. It kept ringing and ringing. No answer. I tried again. The line was busy. I tried for the third time and finally she picked up. I remember how irritated she was. I asked her why she wasn't picking up and she said that she's really busy. She asked me why I called. Pause. I told her. I also told her not to worry because Arash was with me. She told me she would come as soon as she can.

Details start getting a little bit blurry after that. I remember yelling at the ER nurse when they tried to put a more stable splint on my arm. I remember the looks on their faces when they saw the x-ray (I wasn't allowed to look at it). I remember Sassan visiting and Steve calling. I remember having In-N-Out for lunch. I remember Arash staying by my side until my mom came (around 4pm). I remember waking up at 5am the next day to be prepped for surgery, my very first one. I remember waking up in the recovery room and panicking, trying to take off the oxygen mask and thrashing about in my bed.

I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. My mom picked me up to take me back home. It was awful. I was so weak. I was helpless and my mom had to stay with me to help me along. I went back to the doctor's office after a couple of days to have the staples removed. I asked Arash to accompany me. I was screaming in my doctor's office as Dr. Page removed the staples, one after the other, 24 total. After a couple more days, I had to go back for another surgery. My arm was so swollen during the first surgery that they couldn't close the other wound. This time they were going to do a bone graft to connect my shattered bone and try to close the wound. When I woke up from the surgery, I remember asking the Dr. Page and the nurses if I could go back to my room so I can watch the USC game. I must've sounded like a raving lunatic since the game was actually at 11am (time I was admitted) and it was now about 5pm.

It's now 8 months later. I've switched doctors since then. I'm now with Dr. Chadwick Smith and he's a pretty good doctor (judging from his resume). He removed the staples from my second surgery, 19 staples. He also removed all the bandages and left my arm exposed. It looked so horrendous, scarred and skinny. My muscled have atrophied leaving my arm looking weird and disproportionate. It also turns out that I'm allergic to surgical tape and now I have burn marks in my arm where the surgical tape touched my skin (see picture above).

I also had to endure about 4 and a half months of physical therapy. The pain has subsided. My arm is about 80% functional. My shoulder is not as stiff. Soon, I'll be driving again. The nightmares are over but the healing is still ongoing. The scars are not only skin-deep. The psychological scars and the trauma have deeply affected me. I'm still jumpy when I'm in a car. It's so ironic. I used to think I wouldn't be able to survive in Los Angeles without a car. Here I am 8 months without a car and I've survived. Thanks to my mom, my friends, and co-workers who were kind enough to help me. My gratitude also goes out to the Blue Bus and the Culver City Bus lines, my main source of transportation to and from work. But most of all, I thank God every day that he blessed me to live to see another day.

(outer side of my arm)