Thursday, September 20, 2007

Let It Go

I'm newly single and it's tough. Even tougher because I work with my ex. Oh, say it ain't so... Right. That's how I felt too. I was really upset in the beginning, maybe the first couple of weeks. I tried to ignore him but it's hard considering we have to work together. I tried looking for another job but that's even harder given the economic state the US is in right now. What's a girl to do? The title says it all...let it go. For the first time in my life I've let go of the anger in my heart so easily, so freely, so quickly.

For those of you who know me well, I'm known for holding grudges. My pride can get the better of me sometimes but it's time I grow up and just let it go. And you know what? I feel great. I'm no longer sad, mopey or angry. We even joke around now, and sometimes we have lunch together. No, I'm not going down that path with him again. I don't know what the future holds for us but at this time, I'm temporarily going to close the doors to my heart. I'm taking the time to enjoy being single again. I don't want to rush into another relationship because I know I'm not ready yet. I have issues I need to sort out and I need to sort them out alone. Some people get over relationships by starting a new one. I try to figure out what went wrong so I can fix it or I'm at least aware of it. That way, I don't repeat the same mistakes twice (or more than that in the case of others).

Intimate relationships are hard and they don't get easier the older you get. I thought I'd have it all figured out by now. I haven't. But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Relationships help us grow and learn more about ourselves. I've learn a lot about myself in the two and a half years I was with my ex and that's very important to me. The learning process and the growth process that I went through in our now-failed relationship is a very important part of my life. I will always cherish the memories that we shared and he'll always have a special place in my heart.

"If he ain't gonna love you
the way you should
then let it go.

If he ain't gonna treat you
the way you should
then let it go."

-Keyshia Cole

No comments: